ENTITLED MEN.

I need to rant. I am unbelievably livid right now.

This year, I’ve gone through emotional hell which led to apathetic purgatory, which is funny because it’s backwards, but that’s besides the point.

So, I know I should expect this from guys online, but does anyone have any decency anymore? I am very, very hesitant to meet anyone else on tinder after I met the BIGGEST ASSHOLE ever who insulted me multiple times in the 15 minutes we were together. Also, I almost fell for a guy too and he disappeared after saying “oh, i want to stay in contact and study and hang out.” And finally, another guy was so insistent on meeting me, but made 0 attempts to actually come see me and made it my fault that we didn’t meet. This is after I told him multiple times that I was busy and could not commute an extra hour just to “hang out” at his place.

but yes, I’ve hooked up with two guys from tinder. HOWEVER, I did not meet them with the intention of hooking up with them, we actually hung out before anything.

I also take nudes, but that’s because I look frick fracking great naked.

But some of these guys take this and think “oh, shes dtf, and she’s open, I should just expect her to spread her legs open just because she’s had sex before.”

I had a guy tell me that I shouldn’t be so close minded about new guys just because other guys before were jerks. Uh, hello?????? You’re a jerk??? I opened up to you and you used it against me??? Asshole.

Just now, this guy was like “omg, you actually hooked up with more than one person on tinder???” ON TINDER. HE ASKED ME ON TINDER.

I said, “yeah, do you have a problem with that?”

“no, i’m just shocked people actually do that.”

“you think out of everyone on tinder, no ones gonna hook up?”

“no i knew.”

wtf, bro. what are you even saying.

WHO CARES IF I DO IT ANYWAYS, HOW DOES MY NUMBER AFFECT YOU IN ANY WAY???????

JUST BECAUSE I’M OPEN ABOUT MY SEX LIFE, DOES NOT MEAN I’M DOWN TO SCREW ANYBODY.

ughhhhhh. get out.

/end rant

J

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Super Sigh

I haven’t blogged in a while. I had a panic attack at the end of my semester, but I’m free now with a whole lot of dumb boy experience.

Grocery boy:
Lol right when I wrote this, he messaged me. But yes, I didn’t see him for a month because he kept texting me after 9 asking to “hang out”. I got fed up being a booty call and just denied him. Not going to lie, I missed him and I finally saw him on Friday and it was a terrible idea. I like him…a lot. And when we’re together he acts like he likes me too and I try so hard not to let it get to me, but I leave him aching.

He’s high 99% of the time, so he’s distracted enough. Guess I have to toughen up.

Boy with malamute:
He’s 23, went out for a month after meeting on tinder. He hit me up all the time, and eventually he started acting like my boyfriend. I was confused and let my guard down and then surprise, surprise, he chickened out and left. He said he wanted to keep in touch, hasn’t messaged me in over a week.

Whatevs, he was disappointing in more ways then one.

Chef boy:
Only matched with him on tinder because he had sick tats. He started off talking to me in essays and I replied. But we started talking when I was doing finals and he kept trying to get me to bus to him when I needed to study. Not pick me up, but bus half an hour to him. He asked a lot from me and patronized me for saying no. It triggered emotions from my last relationship and I finally snapped. He hasn’t tried to talk to me since.

Spider-Man:
Matched with this guy on tinder because he was cute and was from my school. Hung out a couple times before we did anything touchy, pretty stable. I like him for that lol. But it’s just the same feeling I get with the grocery boy.

I just want consistency. I want excitement. Sighhhhhhh.

See yah, single girls.

J

Relationship update

Hello, hello, my fellow single girls (and everyone else)!

Still single…ish? I’m still seeing the grocery boy :D. We’ve talked about our status and decided to remain “friends”. No official relationship, which is good because that just calls for a whole other set of commitments that neither of us are ready for. We’ve agreed that we like each other, we are attracted to each other, and like to spend with each other. So we’ll see where it goes. We’re not even long term relationship kind of people right now anyways.

However, I’m on tumblr and from time to time, some boys message me. This one guy messaged me, then he FaceTimed me (audio only). Then he would go AWOL for a long time. Understandably, sometimes because he is a med student. But, he would ignore me on tumblr, so he was that kind of guy.

Naturally, I looked for more people to talk to and he started messaging me again, but all I did was flip him off. Then, he called me and proposed that I be his “date” when he comes to where I live so he can make his ex jealous. Like, no. I’m not like that. He offered to pay me! This guy couldn’t even respond to my texts….Then, he confessed his “feelings” for me and didn’t want me talking to anyone else. Mind you, he lives in a different country and I’ve never really seen his face.

I actually just hung up on him now because he was being a dick and he ignored me all day. So at least he’s consistent with being inconsistent.

We’ll see what happens.

J

Tinder and other social media

Hello, again!

So, I was in lecture the other day and just for fun, decided to download the dating app Tinder.

At first, I was selecting based on their pictures, but my friend told me that’s not how I should play, so I liked ALL the options.

Big mistake. Huge.

In 20-30 minutes, I had over 200 matches.
I played a bit more and got 300.
Then they started messaging me. It was ridiculously overwhelming.
I tried messaging them all back, but they got impatient and tired of my limited responses, and the matches kept coming. I turned off the app.

I might try again and actually select guys I like, but it just seems really extra right now /: and they’re local…

These guys look for hook ups basically, and a lot of them were over 10-30 years older than me. Super creepy. Got a lot of date offers.

Use if you’d like, it’s a great ego boost, not gonna lie. Hah.

Happy hunting!

Sad and Pathetic.

My current mood for every day. I just want to talk to the grocery boy, but I messed things up by being impatient and texting him all the time…I also got drunk and tried to hook up with him too. He said no…..

That just took a blow to my self esteem. I just feel like I’m not worth even a night with a guy. I go on my tumblr and just look for attention. I literally just ask and get attention. But what does it even mean anyways? These boys just hit up any “cute” girl’s ask box when they want to see their privates anyways.

I give myself up too easily for a moment of satisfaction. They don’t even have to work that hard for me. And once they get what they want or don’t want to put the effort into getting it, they just leave.

I’m still scared to have a boyfriend because I don’t want to invest my time and feelings into actually building a relationship for it to fall to pieces. :\ And I know I have to take a risk, but I hate putting myself back together all the time. But I do that now too……….

HOW DO I GET THE GROCERY BOY TO MESSAGE MEEE? any boys? hmm???

J

Grocery boy update

Hah, it’s been a little over a week and this boy is already bored.

Sigh. Told you guys I was professionally single 😉

I can tell you what kind of guy he is though.

The Bad Ass
This guy was so not the type I usually go for. He’s not the same race as me. He smokes, he drinks a lot, and he does drugs. Oh and he’s not so bright with writing/grammar/sayings. But he was just so…cute and hot, like me ;).

But yeah, he started off with the whole, I’m not so bad, I’m actually really nice kind of attitude. He was sweet, he got some and then he disappeared.

Sigh. He said a lot of bs that I fell for too. I believe boys too easily.

“Let’s just pretend we’re too attractive for anyone else for now.”
“Don’t worry, I like you too.”
“You’re too nice…I don’t want to ruin you.”

Blahblahblah. Let’s see if he comes back. Probably not. How disappointing, yet not surprising.

J

Anxious

I’m scared. I don’t want to get too emotional with this post. But I’m just freaking out.

I’ve heard everything he said before. It doesn’t mean anything to me. But it affects me, and I’ll just be as heartbroken as last time if the same thing happens again.